Affirmation: I Am Loved

This one hits home for me, but it has to be addressed. This is about to get real honest, real fast but I warned you so...

(shout out to all my Enneagram 2's out there. This one is for us especially.)

"If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?” - Cassandra Clare

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Affirmation 2: I Am Loved

As long as I can remember, I've wanted people to like me, adore me, love me. This desire to be liked is obvious in the way I've let people-pleasing dominate my life. Somehow this affirmation gives me purpose and validates me as a human. For people to like me- this is my reason for existence.

But what do you do when you face rejection? When you experience unpopularity, being "othered" by the "Populars"? What do you do if people nonchalantly call you quirky and weird but you believe quirky and weird is unlikeable and undesirable?

You hide away parts of yourself, become a puppet/shadow/doormat, and pretend to be someone you're not so you can receive this artificial affection and forget about the ones around you that ACTUALLY DO CARE...

The problem is that you don't see it, you can't accept it. You don't see the love that you already have. You're like a leaking cup- whatever affection and love you receive just spills out so you constantly look to others to fill what can't be filled.

I was that person.

Because somewhere in my childhood I believed the lies:

No one likes you.

You are unlovable.

You are broken/defective.

You are weird and quirky and no one likes weird and quirky.

No one cares about you.

No one wants to put up with you.

You are too much.

You can only be loved if you are what they want you to be.

You can only be loved if you are helpful and positive and happy ALL THE TIME.

Yes, these lies are bleak. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved- it is a very human need. But when you constantly look for validation through it and/or can't even receive that love because you believe wrong things about yourself, that's when it's unhealthy. It's an unending cycle that only leads to inauthenticity, low self-esteem, detrimental people-pleasing, self-hatred, and all the bad habits and places that can lead you to.

But let me tell you-lies can be so engrained into you, but they can also be replaced with the truth. Intentionally.

This is the truth:

I am loved.

I am loveable.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am cared for.

I matter.

I am enough as I am.

I love myself for who I am.

I love myself and others without conditions.

I deserve love and respect.

I generously receive and give love.

And when we are not the leaking cup, when we are full and confident in our love for ourselves, we can give and receive that love properly, in a healthy, positive, and healing manner.

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” – Mother Theresa

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.”- Mother Theresa

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“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” John 3:16.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…” Colossians 3:12

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you…” Isaiah 43:4

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us…” 1 John 4:9-11

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us” 1 John 4:18-19

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 John 3:16

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope..." 2 Thessalonians 2:16

"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10: 30-31

"The Lord your God is with you,

the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

in his love he will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

~M.M. Bylo